Only once.. Once I thought that intimacy is possible with any person, you just need to be able to find contact with him. It was naive, I admit!
There is one important thing that, if one is in relationship with a person, it is only when proximity is possible. Be it a relationship with a loved one, husband or wife, mom or dad, friend or girlfriend.
And this thing is safety. If it is not, it is gone. If you feel unsafe with a person – that is, he can laugh at you, joke evil, humiliate, blame, reveal your secret to another, ignore your pain. What else? If you are scared or anxious near that person. If you do not know what to expect in the next minute. This is an unsafe relationship. Even if after 10 minutes the same person extols you to heaven. Especially if he does.
In such relationships, there is no lasting, because they take away your strength. You are constantly forced to hold a shield and wait for an attack. And even sleep consiously hiding behind a shield.
We can lose this sense of danger rather early – perhaps even in childhood, if one of the parents was unsafe. But for an adult – it’s time to return to this topic. Feel and calmly understand – how it is – when it is not dangerous.
Just look around. And remember. With whom do you feel good or not – without makeup or unshaven, during an illness, after a bad day. Who you don’t have to stand on tiptoe with. Who will sympathize with your tears at the end of the film and the comments about the read book.
Being in a safe relationship – it is worth it!
When you do not spend energy on maintaining a shield – you can do something with your own, spend energy on business, hobbies, pleasure. Intimacy, and explore yourself in a better way.
(Now lets share to one another if you are in an unsafe relation, or in an uninteresting relation with a man (or woman).